Lazy Friday, so I stole some stuff from other sites on the web
One of my favorite Twitter sites is The Fake AP Stylebook. For those non-journalism types, the AP Stylebook contains the official Associated Press guidelines for writers to use to maintain consistency in grammar and syntax. It tells you things like the difference between the proper uses of "farther" and "further," when "Senator" should be capitalized and when it should be lower case; things like that.
So The Fake AP Stylebook is exactly what is says...a bogus site which skewers the pretentions and horseshit that journalists wade through on a daily basis. Also, there's helpful advice on the struggles and challenges correspondents face in reporting the news (see "horseshit," above.)
Note: I had check to see whether 'horeseshit' is one word or two. See how it comes in handy?
It's the sort of things all reporters think, but don't ever have the opportunity to say, except when they get wasted and disguise their voices so they can call into all-night talk radio -- not that I'd know anything about that.
- Some recent Fake AP gems:
- Avoid corporate buzzwords such as "paradigm" and "synergy." Simply use "bullshit."
- "Nut graf" is a journalism term; "nut graft" was the painful consequence of the Bureau Chiefs' fart-lighting contest.
- Contrary to popular belief, if a source's van is a-rockin', you can still go a-knockin'.
- The word "axiomatic" is George Will's thing and he will straight up cut you if you try to use it.
- The word "Realtor" should technically be capitalized, but don't. It's fun to piss them off.
- Totally fucking batshit whack-a-doodle" is completely inappropriate, even when referring to Lindsay Lohan
- Do not capitalize names of heavy metals: mercury, chromium, metallica, queensryche, etc.
- A conjunction joins two words or phrases together and may be illegal in your state if both words are dudes.
- Yellow journalism: biased and lurid press. Yeller journalism: reporting by cowardly hillbillies. Cello journalism: Yo-Yo Ma coverage.
- All conversations with a source are considered on-the-record unless they specifically mention those furry pictures of you going public.
- skid row: areas frequented by derelicts. Skid Row: best band EVER! WOO!
- "Farmer's" Market is the correct term for a place where hippies sell you food.
- Don't use two words when you can use one, unless those two words are "chainsaw duel" because that's awesome, dude.
Happy Tweeting. Rock On!